Friday, we woke up early, by 7am, everyone was up. Yes including my 8mo. I fed everyone brekkie, and we went outside for bicycle. M&J fight over bicycles(we have 4 of sizes that they both could share).

Later on, they fight over what color of pen to use to draw… (They pick their own pen!) oh ya, the sky was covered with very very thick fluffy cloud… Beautiful…

I don’t know how it happens, but I slowly got attacked by very negative emotion, before I know it, I felt little big depress and don’t feel like dropping my boys to school, I needed them at that moment.. But of course school they went.

Just every now and then, I feel depress for no reason….I just feel lost, not having done enough, useless, and pure LOST… Not that I don’t like what I doing.. It just hit me….. So I needed someone… And I’m very grateful I have people around that I could turn to to journey with me. I constantly feel guilty whenever I have negative feeling. As a Christian we know for a fact that we are truly blessed in so many ways, that our creator’s love toward us is so great that He gave us Jesus(his only son). And Jesus that is so faithful and true whom will anytime willing to shoulder any weight for us..

Then my dear buddy reminded me, it’s ok to feel lousy at times. Just be authentic in my feeling with Him, that’s the relationship God wants. Christians fall, Christians sin…… My body and my faith is weak sometimes……after all, I’m mortal.


One thought on “Up DOWN UP DOWN

  1. I think you just needed your hub to be around. You do feel “alone” esp with 3 musketeers causing havoc most times. I’ve been there when I was a SAHM tho I only have a son. I was constantly feeling angry n down n I just want to go out and find myself. My relationship w hub went sore. Marriage was rocky. Then I decided to go back to work to keep my sanity.

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