being mom

Today, just like any other day, I have my struggle as a mom. I was torn between cooking a home cook meal for my family, just a simple home cook meal so I know what we put on table is free from msg, low sodium and somewhat is healthier than take out. I tried my best to do that albeit Managing 4 kids is a lot. But I tell myself having 4kids is no excuse. 

I was so torn between cooking, chauffeuring the kids, making sure meal is on table on time, while my 2.5mo baby is clingy… Then it’s the matter of should I just put everything behind and just cuddle my kids? Should I? What about food? What about shower, laundry? Chores etx..

In the end, screw it. We eat McDonald. We drive thru and go meet daddy in office to eat McDonald.  

        

Right after kids are more settled, I then drove home alone with baby and go on to prepare dinner.. Baby is still clingy… That pouty look… Who can say NO. YA, call me sucker mom.  

   

Just saying

Sometimes, I woke up, with my mind full, and to do list mega long…just like today, I have to cook breakfast for kids, I need to do marketing, I am hoping to get that “due by weekend” gift, I need to shower everyone, I need to feed the baby, the laundry and we need to be out by house at 10am etc……. If I live like that, I think I will die very fast, and Jesus won’t greet me at heaven door with smile I bet….

And my days went hay wired… Laundry unfold,(or better yet, I folded it, and baby thinks he can do a better job, and take everything out again…..) M&J make fuss at meal time, M hungry and J wants to poop… N poop and J said he is hungry or he really want to go to the park immediately….

Then after dinner, park, I was filthy and baby just wouldn’t let go my boobs, while M&J run around with their extremely dirty feels waiting to be showered….

It’s really spirit breaking on days like this…..however, it’s kinda worth while, When I hear someone opens the front door, it was my hub, the boys’ daddy… Baby let go of my boobs, go to daddy, M&J fight to tell daddy their day to day story….. While….I just sit at the side and listen to the laughters, the bouncing ball sounds etc……..I should be grateful, and I’m grateful that I’m not alone on this journey.

Vent it

Totally needed to vent…..
Frustrated! Yet… I will not elaborate… After all that “chick” wasn’t mine.. So ok, I’m gonna let that pass….

Evening came and today I just want to be a lousy mom…. I don’t want to go outdoor with the boys… Screw you “guilt”….. But god send rain… So it became my excuse instead of admit to my boys mommy just being lousy today….

Finish..

就这样,一天过了。
三个瓜终于睡着了。
宁静的夜,我舍不得睡。。。
身累透了,但心里满满的喜悦。

孩子大得好快。明年就进小学了。
我还在为寻找学校而烦。。。
我不想跟随大队把他放入名校。。。好顾虑孩子的信心与学习的过程开不开心。。。

真的得好好的祷告,求主帮我儿寻找适合他的学校。。。

Catching a breather

We been so busy for the last few months, practically having program back to back every weekend. Due to busy weekend, it means my weekdays are busier too as I need to make sure all the marketing is done during weekend.

Super stress. But I can foresee after the month of April, things will be much better. In fact today we decided to stay home, do nothing. Do nothing means hub brings M&J out cycling early morning, and came back play football with them. While I snooze with N.. And later go to market.

M&J were super hungry by 12.30pm that without prompt, they went into kitchen and open up their char siew rice and polished it.

I had a chillax Saturday doing my chores slowly…. Having hub around does bring a sense of peace… He even made me my cuppa..

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1st week as a catholic

This is a short journal of my feeling after becoming a catholic, bear with my long winded post. The spirit is high and can’t help it just to pen it down.

First Saturday, Chris wanted to go for a movie, I ask if I could op not to go. He gladly agrees that he will go with M&J and I can proceed to visit a store in town looking for some religious item. Along the journey, I got “led” to visit 2 parishes.

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St Anthony at Jln Robertson. Never knew it existed. Next to it is Stella Maris secondary school. Since the church was empty, I got it all to myself to pray, adore the altar and the whole church. I made my 3 wishes as well. (I was told you could make 3 wishes on ur first visit to any church)

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2nd stop St John cathedral. All catholic should know this place. Big church! Even the holy water also big container!!! Lol. There were wedding going on as well… Again I prayed and make my wishes there.

This is also where I read herald malaysia and knew my article was published. Finally. Click on the link if you want to read my sharing. Scroll down to find my pweeettie face. Title
Touched by God

So Saturday passes. I was joyous.

Sunday came, the moment… I joke to Chris that finally I no longer need to sit at the bench when he goes out to receive holy communion. And we have prep M&J that they will sit and wait for us. It was a jittery morning as Nate was really in bad mood and wouldn’t stop whining the whole session. He poop and wanted to be nursed all the time. And when it was almost time to go out to receive holy communion, I felt anxious, I felt “unworthy”…. Just like another “newly baptized” sister of ours, we were like sinners appearing to our Lord, to be at the banquet with Him….. I didn’t cry, but I felt “unworthy” for a moment and I pray to ask for forgiveness before I go out.

We were warn that temptation will persist in appearing to us, stirring doubts in us, hitting us and tries to bring us down to rock bottom, hang on to Him. So hang on to HIM I will.

*yawn*

*yawn*

Some people are Nicotine-loaded. We all know what nicotine’s capability of destroying our health. My dad was a heavy smoker for more than 2 decades, and stopped at his old age. I couldn’t describe to you how joyful we felt when we knew he bids his nicotine good bye years back.

*yawn*
I am not a smoker, but I do have my weakness. Bleak, I am a caffeine addict. Real bad. I once break the habit of taking caffeinated drinks, for the love for my first born. But it came back. Today I tried not to have it….. Hence *yawn*

So off I go to caffeine-load myself now.
So folks, when J&N grew up to love coffee, you know where that came from…

*yawn*