Who is the teacher 

Who is the teacher?
💬Does she know A,B,C? 

💬Can she count 1,2,3?
She is turning 2 in 2months time. She is the child that I never bothered to teach her anything. 
Irresponsible parent you may call me. I do not deny I struggle to do what I did with M when I had only 1 child. He was attending special infant classes, we give him undivided attention etc. 
But it is more of I finally realize and accept that children is actually the teacher of our life. We are the students. For one they taught me how to love when I thought I already knew it. 
She taught me to identify others love language and speak their language. 
This girl, her very dominant love language is definitely “Physical touch”. Notice she want leaning towards me a few times and she was actually giving m lots of kisses and she sure enjoy being hugged, caress and kisses 
We were singing to the tune of Elmo and Feist 1,2,3,4 😝yes it is still a hit in our household

being mom

Today, just like any other day, I have my struggle as a mom. I was torn between cooking a home cook meal for my family, just a simple home cook meal so I know what we put on table is free from msg, low sodium and somewhat is healthier than take out. I tried my best to do that albeit Managing 4 kids is a lot. But I tell myself having 4kids is no excuse. 

I was so torn between cooking, chauffeuring the kids, making sure meal is on table on time, while my 2.5mo baby is clingy… Then it’s the matter of should I just put everything behind and just cuddle my kids? Should I? What about food? What about shower, laundry? Chores etx..

In the end, screw it. We eat McDonald. We drive thru and go meet daddy in office to eat McDonald.  

        

Right after kids are more settled, I then drove home alone with baby and go on to prepare dinner.. Baby is still clingy… That pouty look… Who can say NO. YA, call me sucker mom.  

   

Just saying

Sometimes, I woke up, with my mind full, and to do list mega long…just like today, I have to cook breakfast for kids, I need to do marketing, I am hoping to get that “due by weekend” gift, I need to shower everyone, I need to feed the baby, the laundry and we need to be out by house at 10am etc……. If I live like that, I think I will die very fast, and Jesus won’t greet me at heaven door with smile I bet….

And my days went hay wired… Laundry unfold,(or better yet, I folded it, and baby thinks he can do a better job, and take everything out again…..) M&J make fuss at meal time, M hungry and J wants to poop… N poop and J said he is hungry or he really want to go to the park immediately….

Then after dinner, park, I was filthy and baby just wouldn’t let go my boobs, while M&J run around with their extremely dirty feels waiting to be showered….

It’s really spirit breaking on days like this…..however, it’s kinda worth while, When I hear someone opens the front door, it was my hub, the boys’ daddy… Baby let go of my boobs, go to daddy, M&J fight to tell daddy their day to day story….. While….I just sit at the side and listen to the laughters, the bouncing ball sounds etc……..I should be grateful, and I’m grateful that I’m not alone on this journey.

Vent it

Totally needed to vent…..
Frustrated! Yet… I will not elaborate… After all that “chick” wasn’t mine.. So ok, I’m gonna let that pass….

Evening came and today I just want to be a lousy mom…. I don’t want to go outdoor with the boys… Screw you “guilt”….. But god send rain… So it became my excuse instead of admit to my boys mommy just being lousy today….

Finish..

Moment of motherhood

Just feel as if yesterday, I brought him home. He was so tiny and fragile… We place him in the baby cot all the time, worrying that his passionate big brothers might crushed him. :0

Today, he is able to sometimes co-sleep with us.. Look! I think his karate kick won’t be any less powerful than Jude’s!

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We were at my parents’ place for a night, so J & N sleeps with me. See how he smiles in his dream? I love seeing my boys sleep together.. They look like angels…. :p everyone shook heads when they see me with my 3 boys.. So yes, they are handful.. But I’m loving it!

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Today

I can feel my milk supply drop these 2days. Partly because I am very stressful;  another part I also couldn’t explain why I’m so upset these 2days.

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Looking at him, I feel so sorry, I really do not know what to do with him. Parenting him is truly a challenge. At times we decided to be more linear with him,  just get the message across and let his free will leads, then we got question from M, why Jude can do this?

At times we decided to use “love languages” when he misbehave, well…I don’t even know where we are heading…I’m so worried,  what he will becomes? I feel defeated.

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Fresh new wound.
Plus a 2feet scratch on his grandparents car. He was riding bicycle with 1 hand, lost balance,  scratched the car, then got threw off the bicycle,  landed on the tar. I didn’t even feel heart ache.

Tell me, what should I do?